Review - Filmfare-2008
Worst Bollywood Awards-2008


Dear All
.well,few days back i hav watched star screen award( n yesterday filmfare also) ...i got an idea.. a real business idea..A 24 hour channel on bollywood film awards...lolzz....seriously, ... see the number of award functions these days, I’m sure i can run a 24×7 channel and have enough footage for the whole year.lol


It took Dilip Kumar 8 years to get 8 awards for the best actor. Today, it takes only one year to get that many. Ridiculous, simply ridiculous - it seems like a fashion - “jeb mein bahut paisa hai.. chalo awards function shuru karte hain”.yup guys have some brains(I’m talking to the organizers of shitty, no-one-cares award shows).Because of some people like these, the whole award things is a now a freakin’ joke.’..Have you ever thought that why Amir dont attend any of these award function.The reason will be clear to you after reading this whole post.


I can’t recall...actually I feel the pains to compile the list of all the awards and give my comments on them. For some of you who don’t know how bad the situation is, here’s some painful things im presenting before you:


1. Filmfare
Filmfares are technologically the most advanced awards in the world. Seriously. You would not believe that they were using a high fundoo computer program few years back for determining their awards. Here is snippet of their computer program I found when I hacked their system (confidential) :P:

if (film.productionhouse = “big banner”)
then (best picture = film.name
best actor = film.hero
best actress = film.heroine
best director = film.director);


High tech, isn’t it? if u see few years back scenerio..same code they were using(Ek lo, teen muft). bt thank god this year they have made sum changes in code..The Indian viewing public is so stupid (Don was a hit and Omkara below average.. need I say more?)

still they had made a shit this year too ...In the best film category, Black Friday,Parzania,Dharm,johny Gaddar have been left out in favor of Om Shanti Om.(what the heck was tht). My problem is that OSO is an average movie, but not worthy of a best film nomination though entertaining, OSO is ordinary cinema. In fact, it doesnt sounds gud for the industry that is promoting RDB and Lage Raho,ignoring good films.Black Friday is a path-breaking film and deserves the honors. Too bad it is pitied against TZP.
Another thing..i think u all must have noticed..that there was no nomination clip of TZP.

2. Star Screen Awards
well in this show the most shitty thing was ......Darsheel Safary, better known as Ishaan Awasthi, has NOT BEEN NOMINATED in the best actor category. Instead, he has been nominated as the Best Child Actor. What nonsense on Earth is that? When a 64 year old Amitabh Bachchan can be nominated against a 20 something Shahid Kapur, why can’t an 11 year old be nominated alongside? Does the best Actor award come with the sign ADULT ONLY? The boy has also been left out from the Best Newcomer category..!!

others are-:

3. IIFA Awards
4. Zee Cine Awards
5. Sansui Awards
6. GIFA Awards
7. Apsara Awards
8. Bollywood Movie Awards


there are so many award fuction i have listed few...bt now im not going to comment any of them..b'cause its wasting of my precious time on such shitty things..which i can use in making this post more intresting.
well,I know sponsorships are nice, but please don’t over do it..like adding their name in the name of function. It doesn’t sound nice when the most prestigious film award in the country is called something like ‘Fair and Lovely Filmfare Award or just imagine what will happen if any undergarments company will sponser these award shows..he he...Jocky Filmfare Award.

So frnds for my award function i hav got sponsorship from a Juta- Chappal vendor of Teliyarganj Allahabad.
NoW I am going to introduce ...A new award Function called...

Orkut
Lakhani Shoes Bollywood Awards-2008

Sponsored By- Maharaja Lakhani Shoe Store, Teliyarganj, Allahabad
Media Partners- Orkut.com
Special event Sponsorship by- Kajal Photostate,MNNIT
Directed By- who ?? Ofcourse u shld know..lolz


Rules And Regulations
now i am going to announce few rules of this prestigious award function.

1-If you are shocked at my choice of the best actress and the best supporting actress, I shall give you a hint about the selection criteria - it is not good acting. Go for figure!:P

2-Best Actor in a comic role and Best Actor in a negative role are stupid awards. so these have been cancled.An actor is an actor. Tragic, comic, positive, negative should not matter. They were created in the days when Prem Chopra was always a bad guy and Mehmood was always the funny sidey. They were to honor these artists. Today, the film’s ‘hero’ can be a gunda (Omkara) or a terrorist (Fanaa). He can even have an affair (Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna). So the award for the comedian and the villian makes no sense today. If you still wanna keep them,.then in 2008 we should also have awards like Best Actor in the role of a Hockey Coach, Best Actor in the role of an arts teacher,best mom, best dad...lolz



3- Well this year i am announcing awards only listing below..

# Worst Picture
# Worst Actor (Male)
# Worst Actor (Female)
# Worst Song that everyone else liked
# Most Nonsensical Lyrics
# Most Nonsensical Film Title



4-We also have 2 special awards.I tried alot for sponsorship and at last i got it sponsored by Xerox photocopiers-Kajal photostate(Near my hostel)
1. Xerox Best Film
2. Xerox Best Music


5-As for the other awards like screenplay, editing, I simply don’t know how to judge them. So I won’t.
6-If you disagree with my nominations,then you are wrong :).

So here goes the Awrads and nominations.

Worst Film
* Heyy Babyy
* Saawariya
(is it a movie or a music album?)
* Salaam-E-Ishq
* Ta Ra Rum Pum
* Welcome


Worst Actor (Male)
(I have not seen the film, but wearing a hairband brings him an automatic nomination..lol)
* Abhishek Bachchan - Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
* Akshay Kumar - Welcome
* Himesh Reshammiya - Aap Kaa Surroor..(he he..)
* Saif Ali Khan - Ta Ra Rum Pum
* Salman Khan - Salaam-E-Ishq


Worst Actor (Female)
* Priyanka Chopra - Salaam-E-Ishq
* Rani Mukerjee - Laaga Chunari Mein Daag
* Rani Mukerjee - Ta Ra Rum Pum
* Vidya Balan - Heyy Babyy
* Vidya Balan - Bhool Bhulaiyaa


Most Nonsensical Lyrics
* Javed Akhtar - Dard-E-Disco / Om Shanti Om
(no one else comes close..he is topping without any comptition.. no point nominating any others)


Most Nonsensical Film Title
* Ta Ra Rum Pum (what the heck is that?)
* Aap Kaa Surroor - The Movieeeee - The Real Luv Storieeeeeee
(wat a name..lol)
* Team - The Force
* Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag
* Shaka Laka Boom Boom
(seems a movie of a magician...im also inspired by it planning to make..Udan Choo..lolz)


Xerox Award for the Best Picture
* Hitch (I mean Partner)…
i come to know abt it. thnaks to itwofs.com!


Xerox Award for the Best Music Director
* Pritam Chakraborty with so far 14 tracks in the last year copied from music all the way from Egypt - Korea.. I say so far because we do not know the sources of the others yet. And yes my friends, the 14 include songs from Bhool Bhulaiyaa, Jab We Met, and Life In A Metro. Thanks to itwofs.com for documenting his research.

ohh im very very srry ..i forgot to mention there is one more award ..that is


Shahrukh Khan Award

Winner - Ofcourse None other than our own King Khan -Shahrukh.... lolz

This award to be given to SRK every year so that I don’t have to think of any new shitty award every year to give him, like Zee does, for eg. Award for 2 hits in a year, Fun entertainer of the year.. wat the f**k.. does that mean?


neway for the SRK fans.i want to say that i am also a grt SRK fan..No doubt he is a gud actor..dont take me wrong. as in last post comment few have written.bt few things i dont like..that i have mentioned in my earlier posts.


Neways next year we can think for the Best awards also.b'cuase many awards function already have given those this year and i am quite late.I was working on this post since 1 month.bt many things came in between like CT's and CULRAV (our college cultural fest)..so i was not able to post on time.Neways


Congratulations to all the winners…!!
thanku tata bie bie frnds..its 6:15 AM now..so gudmornig..Happy Shivratri...stay tunned !!

Yagya Datt Sharma
4 Feb 08- 06 March 08